originally posted on What the Flicka? by Erin K. Moffat
What is the lost box, you ask? You know in elementary school when you lose your new mittens or “lose” your new itchy hat that you hate? Your mom makes you go to the lost and found and prays that you will find it. She hopes that she doesn’t have to take a trip to Target in the middle of the night to get you a new hat because it’s suppose to snow tomorrow and you’re prone to ear infections (hypothetically, you live in New England).
How the lost and found works is someone LOST it and someone else FOUND it. Hence, the term “Lost and Found.” However, if something is never claimed by the original owner or is stolen by someone who looks at the box as the “free stuff box,” it’s still kind of just lost (or stolen). I often feel like the contents in a lost box (which by summer get left behind).
Lately, I have been feeling a little lost in general. I have been questioning my life’s purpose, and I’m trying not to search because it seems the more I search the more lost I become. Some people just wake up and know what they should do. I think that I think too much! I get lost in the same town over and over again.
I am kind of a Jackie-of-all-trades and a master of none. I am not always able to focus on just one thing either. As a creature of habit with a fear-based identity, I am doing my best to live outside of my comfort zone. I’m trying to find myself!
In the past year while searching for myself, I took a Bible study, directed an original musical, traveled to a makeup seminar in Boston and a Buddhist commune in VT, (I’m not a Buddhist—my cousin is and she needed a ride), took a class in NYC, and flew to L.A. because I figured maybe I’d find a better grasp on what the heck it is I’m doing here. Nope!
It’s not that I don’t have goals, but getting from point A to point B sometimes is the most daunting. It’s like I’m just a random item sitting in that box waiting to be claimed, but I think that I need to make a decision and grab myself. Ok, that totally didn’t come out right! I guess that I am both the lost box and the random contents.
While I’m lost I’m really having an interesting time trying new things, and I hope that I just fall into something and all of the random contents of my lost box will come together to create something incredible (the found box). Until then, I guess that I am just the lost box and it’s random contents. The cool thing though, is that something new is always put into the box—so the box definitely has a lot of potential.
The box, like the glass, we can look at as half full or half empty (or what the potential is out of the box, around the box, and maybe even without the box). I guess it really is all about the journey! Maybe answers are already in the box. I just have to have the perspective to see.